Of gays and surrogacy

Jes , 2 Comments

I had a chat with a Singaporean friend staying at Bangkok for 2 years. Both of us were amazed by the Thais, particularly on their accepting culture no matter who you are and who you like.

Recently, I met a new person in my distributor's company. He is a manly but not too muscular guy and all of us went dinner together. Halfway through dinner, he told everyone casually that hehas a boyfriend. This occurred when others quizzed him about his relationship status. Initially everyone thought that he was just kidding but then when he responded seriously, all of us started firing questions at him.

He is not born a gay and has girlfriends previously. These recent 2 years, he got together with this petite guy as they could connect very well. He did not think that he was gay but he was not opposed to the idea. It's all chemistry from what he said and the gender does not matter.

I am not so shocked after all this time because I have met other homosexuals in the group. I am more shocked that he came right out during my first meeting with him and also the first dinner with the rest of the group. He even mentioned that being with a guy is better as his partner is not overly dependent on him. His previous girlfriends will expect him to fetch him from work or open the door or a bottle of coke for her and he finds it troublesome. Just nice, we have a 'high maintenance' girl in our group so we were busy debating about this.

They are thinking of getting a baby now. Adopting a baby is not easy because they are not legally married. Finding a surrogate mother is illegal too because homosexuals are not accepted in the surrogacy system. It cost around USD200k, all medical bills included so it's not cheap at all. Another nice thing about Thai system is that you can choose the gender of your baby at USD10k and I think it is a good thing to have particularly when you have 3 or 4 kids of the same gender already.  I think they are going to find a surrogate mother illegally as it is their wish for very long.

I admire their culture.

Honestly, how I wish Singaporeans would be more accepting. Happiness should be the main criteria and who are we to judge others. Being a homosexual is not disgusting or offending when these people are well educated and know very clearly what they are getting into. It is not an impulse or a way to get back at their parents because their parents accepted them this way too. It is just who they are.

Being a parent, we should not be asking our children to fit into a mold that we set for them. We should just provide the platform where they are free to create any shape they want.

Now I just need to meet a lady boy or transsexual to complete my travel stories. 


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  1. Jes,

    Thailand is accepting towards friends of the rainbow flag as its largely a Buddhist country.

    Buddhism is one of the more "liberal" faiths out there who accepts "diversity".
    Buddhist care more about doing no harm to others - be in in speech or deed.

    I remember my first time visiting Patpong.

    So fun! The tout first asked me whether I want a girl? No. How about ladyboy? No. The tout then smiled at me and asked whether I wanted a boy?


    Many of my ex-Thai Chinese colleagues are Teochew like me. Very interesting to trace our ancestry back!

    P.S. Its easy to meet up with a lady boy; you just have to pay for it ;)

    1. Hi Jared,

      Now I understand why the Thais are so much more tolerant towards differences in appearance, orientation and others. Buddhism sounds like quite a nice religion to me.

      Hahaha, you should try some ladyboy ma. Can find them on the streets soliciting and mostly hovering around caucasians, who are more open to challenges.

      I am also Teochew, but then those Thai friends of mine cannot speak any Teochew though. The more I mix with Thais, the more I think Singaporeans need to loosen up =P