Stay at home mum

Jes 12 Comments

Salute to all SAHM! It's really a tough job handling kids all day, everyday.

Your life circles around the children and you plan your schedule around them. Every day, your little victory would be their fully satiated stomachs and peaceful naps.
No house wife could look like that!


The goal in life is to watch them grow happily and healthily.

I had a taste of it for the past 3 months. Caring solely for my newborn with no help at home. As days go by, I could go out with clothes with spilt milk. I could go out without make up. I could go out with shorts, pants and slippers every day. My bag consists of only baby stuff. When I go out, it is to buy more baby supplies.

I began to lose myself as my role is only to be a full time mummy. My life centres around the baby and the baby only. The rest of the world starts fading away and I start to lose touch of who I am. Am I just a caretaker, a cow, a maid, a robot?

I can't do it because it's not me.

I have many friends who do not mind being a full time mum. Not me, definitely not me. Being an extrovert, I crave human interactions. I long to get back in action, be on the move, be conversing in coherent language and live my life being me. I yearn to wake up and have some personal purpose in life, be it climbing up the corporate ladder, getting back in shape or just having an unhasty meal.

I need to be myself before I can love again and share my love.

This is me and not everyone. If you keep thinking of your children while working or that you cannot trust anyone to take good care of her, maybe you can consider being a SAHM. You can say that I am not so noble, not motherly enough or even selfish but I believe I should not sacrifice my whole being just to be a mummy. When the children grow up, what would be left of me or my marriage?

I am sure there are others who can do a good job caring for my baby. I know time is limited and I might not have enough time to spend with my baby once I start working. I might even miss caring for her but for now, I am happy being a full time working mum (FTWM). Lucky for my husband too, dual income is definitely easier on him.

I thought it will not be easy on my first day handing over my baby to a stranger, the nanny. However, it was easier than I thought once I realised I had my freedom back. My goal has not changed, I still want to see my baby growing happily and healthily.

Just not for 24 hours every day.

Jes

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12 comments:

  1. sahm is a tough job worth $20K per month

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    Replies
    1. Hi Uncle CW,

      Yeah man! Not at all free to have hi-tea like tai tai. Maybe with maid then can la.

      Delete
  2. Jes,

    A child is definitely out for me. I have no paternal instincts.

    It's not easy for the modern woman - balance career with family.


    We have to live with the decisions we make.

    I'm closer to mom than dad; mom was always around.

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    Replies
    1. Hi Jared,

      Mmmm... Maybe you haven't met the right woman to make you want to have an offspring with her. The paternal instinct is cultivated not in born!

      I guess normally mum is the one who is around more and take care of the kids. I have no regrets having a child but it really takes a lot more effort on working mums. Particularly when I have to travel :S

      Delete
  3. I reckon my wife is going to be a FTWM than a SAHM. The reasons you gave seem to apply to her as well. As long as the child is well taken care of, I'm sure you are free to make your own life choices!

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    1. Hi TFS,

      I am sure you will be supportive whatever your wife's decision is. You will need to help out more if she is going to be a FTWM. Do remember to prioritise her over the child! :)

      It's more than a choice, it's compulsory to keep my mental state intact!

      Delete
  4. You can't turn the clock back for most woman of today.
    Besides it really difficult to survive on single income in Singapore or in most advance cities.
    SAHM is really rare and exceptional even if her man is a high earner.

    In fact some couples opt out of having children because of time and cost and responsibility.
    Will they regret it at the end of the day, we won't know.
    Any such couples like to share?

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    Replies
    1. Hi Temperament,

      That's why many families can't live without a maid now. I also think I will need help once work gets hectic. Really difficult to juggle so just got to pay for it.

      Actually I have heard from many that they regretted not having more kids or having kids too late thus unable to have more. I also have some friends my age choosing not to have kids but I am secretly hoping that they will regret it. Ok, very mean of me haha.

      Delete
  5. Hi Jes

    My wife is a SAHM. She doesnt enjoy it too much as well but i guess we'll have to sacrifice either one of us. We are not yet contented leaving him under a child care or domestic helper care.

    But good to know how you doing so far.

    P.s: do you happen to know a recommended nanny for a month after birth?

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    1. Hi B,

      Woah really salute her and also your financial capability. I am sure the sacrifice is well worth it and do give her some alone time once in a while!

      I think you mean a confinement nanny. I did not hire one but can help you to get some contacts from my friends. Will send them to you soon!

      Delete
  6. Hi Jes,

    It is just choice. Does not matter if SAHM or FTWM as long as you fulfil your role as mummy or daddy and make sure they grow up healthy, happy, good integrity bla bla bla

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    Replies
    1. Hi Rolf,

      You are right! Some friends I know dread going to work because they can't bear to leave their baby, I think they will quit soon haha. Ultimately it's dependent on the choice of the mum and of course, the finances.

      Delete