Last trip as a hamster

Jes 8 Comments

After the personal attack in my performance review, I realised I can no longer work with my boss. There are no other roles available in my company and I started to question why I am working so hard and travelling so much.

For what? Really.

At a certain point in life, fatigue sets in. Then the questions start to pour through. Doubts over the meaning of life, work, money, and underneath it all, where is happiness. Money is the main reason why people work. I do still love travelling and I am thankful that work allows me to explore far.

However, why am I spending so much time in hotel rooms and airports? What for?

If I change job, what is the chances of me getting a good boss and having great autonomy over my work? Near zero, I need a miracle.

With the knowledge that I am about to quit but yet having to go overseas and attend sales meeting is killing me. It's like I am wasting my time doing things that is completely irrelevant. I am staying on for the 3 months notice period. It's really long.

I have to hang in there.

Every day, I have to be extra nice to my boss to over compensate for my burning desire to shout at him and complain about unjust treatment. How dare he ask me to shut up. Being my boss doesn't mean he can attack me and try to diminish my self worth. That's the worst kind of a boss.

Doing worthless presentations and meetings one after another. Nothing matters even if I do well. Solving complaints provide no relief anymore. I can't see the light at the end of the tunnel.

It's the hardest 3 months of my life. Mental torture is a constant deterioration of my well bring. It is worse than giving birth which is just a physical pain but is over in a short time. What doesn't kills me will make me stronger.

I know many people are doing the same as me, just waiting for pay day to come. If I have to be a two faced monster then so be it. The pay is worth the torture I guess.

That is why, financial freedom is and must be a constant goal. To be free of these corporate shackles and bull shit.


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  1. I fully agreed that financial goal should be one of our goals even currently our life as employee is still fine. Nobody know how our future will turn out.

    1. Hi Uncle CW,

      You are right as usual! But not many people would seek alternative financial sources if their salary is stable and career is secure. That's the irony isn't it? Preparing for retrenchment/retirement is the furthest thing away from most of my peers at my age :)

  2. Hi Jes

    You have your snackfirst venture so that's already in the mix.

    The 3 months will also be over at least in the mind thats just the formality of notice period and handing over the job.

    Job done soon.

    1. Hi B,

      Nice to see you dropping by! Haha, just that 3 months is really too long and dreary for any handover. I would much rather be asked to leave and get on with my life instead of feeling like I am stuck there, just waiting for time to tick past. Well, it is also good that I have some free time to manage SnackFirst, I am contradicting myself I know! =P

  3. Replies
    1. Thank you Ang!

      I will, appreciate your encouragement and looking forward to my unemployment, haha :D

  4. Hatred has caused a lot of problems in this world, but it has not solved a single one yet. It probably never will either. It is great that you are able to let go and focus on the things that matter to you most.

    1. Hi Thoughtinstrument,

      I agree! Hatred is all consuming and exhausting, never good to dwell too much on toxic people and events. Anyway, sounds like you are pretty zen-like and focusing on the right things. Keep it up! :)


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