Stay away from toxic people

Jes 12 Comments

Toxic people are those who bring you down in work and also life. They spread negative emotions to you and make you feel depressed or not as optimistic after talking to them. Their actions generated so much negativity that the whole working or group environment will feel the change and dislike their job and everything else.

Example 1:
A good friend of mine usually insults and puts down my potential love interests and new friends.  He will point out their flaws and made me reconsider my friendship with the rest. I did not know it at that time but he will also say bad things about me behind my back or join others to ridicule me.

Example 2:
This ex-colleague was really friendly in front during working hours. After working hours when I bumped into him, he did not even acknowledge me when I greeted him outside. Whenever I made a mistake, he will try to make sure everyone knows it while for my success, he will attribute it to good timing and luck.

Example 3:
A senior in the company advised me to stay away from a certain group of people. I was friendly with everyone and did not want to start the primary school childishness. Then she started to relate the stories of how those people back-stabbed her and prevented her from getting her promotion. I sympathised with her but it did not happened to me and the group of people also has their own story.

Needless to say, good friend can become acquaintances and some colleagues will never be your friends. Some relationships just ain't worth hanging on.

Indeed, these people all have their hidden agenda and not in my best interests.

I did not know that the ex-good friend had feelings for me but ridiculing me just did not make sense. I was also given a promotion ahead of my ex-colleague which explains the fake politeness while the senior just wanted more people in her clique to go against the other group.

Never trust people especially when they badmouth others. They will definitely gossip about you too. How someone treats others can be taken into consideration but one should not be too quick to jump to conclusions when you are not the parties involved. Who knows what was their previous history and how good these storytellers can distort the facts.

Stay away from such people as they will only bring you down in life. And of course, don't be toxic yourself.

Jes

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12 comments:

  1. Hello Jes,

    Great advice here. I tend to stay away from toxic people as well as negative people too. With friends like these, who needs enemies?

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    Replies
    1. Hi SS,

      Welcome to my blog!

      Haha, enemies are actually better because you know who they are. You would not know when the friend who is actually an enemy will strike you after you confide in them. Hard to stay away from friends-turned-enemy but I feel much happier and positive without them. We all just need a handful of quality friends after all.

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  2. The coffee, tea, or me guy must be preening his hair in the mirror and saying to himself, "Yup, she chose me."

    With the caffeine high, probably doing his "Who's your daddy?" dance moves now...

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    Replies
    1. Hi SMOL,

      Muahahaha.. I cannot imagine him doing the dance moves although it would be kind of amusing. Anyway, I am also the one doing the hula dance when thinking "Yep, he chose me!" Hehe.

      Thank you for the weekly dose of laughter! :D

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  3. I too learned the hard way to stay away from negative people. They have a problem for every solution.

    But sometimes listening to negative people can provide us with a valuable different perspective as well.

    I am a strong believer of diversifying everything in my life, including the people I listen to for advice.

    I just have to remind myself that it is always my own responsibility to make my own decisions despite all those inputs.

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    Replies
    1. Hi Tacomob,

      They give interestive perspective but sometimes, when we are confused, they might actually lead us astray, especially the so called friends disguised as enemies. Yeah of course we should not put the blame on others for our own actions but we should definitely be careful of who we call friends.

      Thank you for your insights!

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  4. Hi Jes

    Can't agree more with you.

    Life is already so tiring, why do we need to spend additional effort to explain to these guys who doesn't value add to your experience and life? :)

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    1. Hi B,

      Hope you had a good business haze-free trip! Yeah man, life is too short to do that too... we need to prioritize on the right people and recognize the toxic ones so as to prevent them from doing more harm than good. The hard part is to identify and get away from them!

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  5. Your first guy, was trying to rid of romantic competition, so that he could have you exclusive. Guess not the right kind of guy, I'm sure.

    The second, was envious, sore loser.

    The third, is just paranoid, low esteem.

    Pretty toxic. Better to hang around happy people.

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    Replies
    1. Hi Lizardo,

      Hahaha nice analysis! Totally agree, maybe they are just childish so they became toxic. The sad thing is I always realize it after everything happened so it's not like I can pro-actively avoid them during the course of my work or life.

      Our finance blogosphere is a good network I think, all of you guys are so encouraging and motivating... and I hope happy too! Thank you! :)

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  6. Hi Jes,

    Choosing the right friend is just like choosing the right stock. Initially u love to experience many diff stocks but over time, u will eventually find that few stocks that is ur most loved stocks making GD money for u. Maybe that is a little bit like choosing Frds that when we r younger, we love to have plenty, but as we aged, we realise just that 1 or 2 real good ones is sufficient.

    For those toxic, hard to define as friends. Maybe just passer by in ur life that u must remember to wear N95 masks...

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    Replies
    1. Hi Rolf,

      So I guess since choosing stocks is like choosing friends, the stocks/friends must benefit us in the long run to be considered good... haha! In a way, true... mutually beneficial relationship. Popularity is over rated but I supposed we all need to go through this discovery phase.

      Good that you link toxic friends to pollutant... very apt indeed! :)

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