An unconscious gap
It's not such a big gap between single and married people, You can still hang out together for parties, movies, BBQ and even clubbing. You can go travel together and play mahjong. Art festival at night, supper, hi-tea, manicure? No problem.
When you have kids, it's a world of divide.
I am not kidding. I cannot join them for fun anymore. I do not watch the latest movies or join them in countdown parties. I have to leave early at night as my baby needs to sleep. I cannot play mahjong at my house because taking care of my baby requires full concentration. My attention will be divided when my baby is around even during gatherings.
It's a two way street. My single friends feel segregated from me. When the parents speak, we use short forms like pd (paediatrician), bf (breastfeed) and others. Topics like brand of diapers, milk, how to treat diaper rash, what to start for solid food is not interesting at all to the outsiders. It's unconscious, it's a terrible divide.
I am sorry, this divide is not deliberate but due to the different phases in life.
This is only temporary. In future, I hope I can go for high tea and some of the singles now will be the ones running after toddlers.
Can't wait.
When you have kids, it's a world of divide.
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| The unbridged chasm |
I am not kidding. I cannot join them for fun anymore. I do not watch the latest movies or join them in countdown parties. I have to leave early at night as my baby needs to sleep. I cannot play mahjong at my house because taking care of my baby requires full concentration. My attention will be divided when my baby is around even during gatherings.
It's a two way street. My single friends feel segregated from me. When the parents speak, we use short forms like pd (paediatrician), bf (breastfeed) and others. Topics like brand of diapers, milk, how to treat diaper rash, what to start for solid food is not interesting at all to the outsiders. It's unconscious, it's a terrible divide.
Not just that, not everyone can understand why I cannot join them to go shopping, why I might arrive late, why I do not invite them to my house anymore, It is impossible with so many baby things and household chores. My weekends are busy with visiting both sides of the family and then the cycle repeats. I am not complaining, I like my role as a mum but it's really a full time job.
This is only temporary. In future, I hope I can go for high tea and some of the singles now will be the ones running after toddlers.
Can't wait.
Jes
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Do you have other sibling or cousins?
ReplyDeleteIn my case; when the kids are older; we ask our sibling to babysit them. We take turn to babysit each other children so we/they have some time for ourselves/themselves.
Hi Uncle CW,
DeleteToday so late then surf net huh? I do have other siblings and cousins but they have their hands full with kids of their own. Plus, not many are willing to handle a small baby, as you said when they are bigger it will be easier to babysit. Need time to fast forward haha!