Guard your time well, or you will lose it
I blogged previously stating how 30 to 40 years old is a period of 'Not enough time'. Yet I find so many becoming a hamster on a wheel, whereby you allow non consequential people and circumstances to dictate your schedule.
If you cannot manage your time well, it's difficult to feel happiness.
Imagine you want to spend more time with your family. This is particular for new parents where you can't wait to go back to your baby, as they grow so fast and change so much in a day. After reaching home at 6pm daily, friends still ask you out for drinks and dinners. On the weekends where there is finally more time, you still have to go for gatherings, weddings, community programs and others. You will always feel like there is not enough time and that breeds reluctance and resentment. Not only you drag yourself to obligations and more obligations, your partner would also feel left out and left behind.
Learn how to say no.
If the people are your true friends and relatives, they will understand why the first few months after a baby was born, parents will go missing from social activities. People who have no kids do not understand that and I only realised it when friends started asking me why couples with kids tend to become anti-social. I thought it was common knowledge that people want to spend lots of time with their family!
It's true that sometimes all parents need to take a breather and just relax and be yourself. But when some obligations become so dreary that you have to drag your feet to attend them, that's a warning sign. Just reject these activities for a time and you won't find yourself being pulled along by the chains around your ankles.
That is why it's so important to prioritise.
As we grow older, we tend to have lesser friends. We only meet with people that we keep close to our hearts. There is only so limited time and we want to spend it doing things we love. Say no to acquaintances and social gatherings for a time. Don't worry, you will feel more likely to start having activities when your kids are around 1 year old. That is the time we have more sleep and sanity. It's also a phase of life.
Parenthood is difficult, it is tiring and you will have to sacrifice for it.
I find that I am in better control of my time now. When working as an employee, your time is fixed and tied up and many jobs don't allow for work-life balance. After being self-employed, I am thankful that my time is much more flexible and indeed, I now have time to smell the roses.... literally and figuratively.
I am definitely much happier when in control of my time.
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If you cannot manage your time well, it's difficult to feel happiness.
Imagine you want to spend more time with your family. This is particular for new parents where you can't wait to go back to your baby, as they grow so fast and change so much in a day. After reaching home at 6pm daily, friends still ask you out for drinks and dinners. On the weekends where there is finally more time, you still have to go for gatherings, weddings, community programs and others. You will always feel like there is not enough time and that breeds reluctance and resentment. Not only you drag yourself to obligations and more obligations, your partner would also feel left out and left behind.
Learn how to say no.
If the people are your true friends and relatives, they will understand why the first few months after a baby was born, parents will go missing from social activities. People who have no kids do not understand that and I only realised it when friends started asking me why couples with kids tend to become anti-social. I thought it was common knowledge that people want to spend lots of time with their family!
It's true that sometimes all parents need to take a breather and just relax and be yourself. But when some obligations become so dreary that you have to drag your feet to attend them, that's a warning sign. Just reject these activities for a time and you won't find yourself being pulled along by the chains around your ankles.
That is why it's so important to prioritise.
As we grow older, we tend to have lesser friends. We only meet with people that we keep close to our hearts. There is only so limited time and we want to spend it doing things we love. Say no to acquaintances and social gatherings for a time. Don't worry, you will feel more likely to start having activities when your kids are around 1 year old. That is the time we have more sleep and sanity. It's also a phase of life.
Parenthood is difficult, it is tiring and you will have to sacrifice for it.
I find that I am in better control of my time now. When working as an employee, your time is fixed and tied up and many jobs don't allow for work-life balance. After being self-employed, I am thankful that my time is much more flexible and indeed, I now have time to smell the roses.... literally and figuratively.
I am definitely much happier when in control of my time.
Jes
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Time spent bonding with children when they are young are especially precious. However, the period b/n 30 to 40 yrs old is also the peak career period for many people. If one can rise to a well-paid position in a gd MNC, the financial aspects can be taken care of, in some cases, even almost for life. Trying to catch up career / financial wise after 40 can be really challenging.
ReplyDeleteOn the other hand, being self-employed to have better work life balance may result in a life of financial prudence as well as financial insecurity. One may not even be able to afford as much tuition for the kids as those better off.
For me, well, I too sacrificed for my children as I do not want my children to grow up in the same way my parents brought me up.
Hi there,
DeleteBeing self-employed does means greater financial insecurities but that does not mean one cannot afford tuition and travel overseas. That just means more prudence is needed and one more aspect should be considered- Happiness for the individual and the children.
Since you walked the same path, I am sure your understand it very well! The sacrifice of money for time is difficult but definitely worth while. Thanks for dropping by. :)