Motherhood has changed us

Jes 7 Comments

Motherhood is really a scary experience. We went through so much pain, sufferings and many sleepless night to care for another human being. Unconsciously, all mothers have changed during this journey.

1) Loss of modesty
Previously, some of my friends only wanted female gynaecologist as they do not want other man to check out their private parts. However, during the delivery stage, there are so many nurses coming to check and prod on your below that you will be sort of immune to it and not shy anymore. If you are going through C-sect, then the anaesthetist and many other nurses will be peering at it for some hours. There will definitely be guys among them so you can't be shy at all.

Furthermore, when you start breastfeeding, some of my friends freely whip out their boobs like it is no big deal, even in front of older female relatives. Definitely no such thing as modesty.

2) Loss of personal time
Gone are the days when you can just head out for facial, manicure, exercise or hi-tea. All personal time will need some planning to fit into the schedule. The best time is when your baby falls asleep and you finally have some peace to yourself. That's when Happy Hour starts.

3) Declining cleanliness standards
Spilled milk on shirt and bed sheets but still able to sleep on them? Check. Solid food in hair, saliva on clothes? Check. Untidy house and piles of unfolded clothes? Check. This is when a maid will come in handy. Rest assured the hygiene standards imposed on the baby stuff is still the highest while the parents' standards dropped temporarily for families like me who do not have a maid or cleaner.

4) Maternal instincts surfaced
Nobody likes to cry in public. However, with hormones raging and a crying baby, you might be prone to tearing. Even when the baby goes for vaccinations, many of my friends including me are afraid of tearing when hearing them cry in pain. More so in the first few months where the hormones are raging at their peak. It just shatters our hearts in so many ways and the tears start pouring in. The tears you get will be so much more than your pre-pregnancy life. Cry baby.
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5) Higher threshold of noise
Wailing baby is so normal particularly during their second month. They are afraid to fall asleep so they cry. They reject milk and become fussy so they cry. They are hungry so they cry. They are bored so they cry. They cry to communicate with us. Some times, we do not understand them so they cry at the top of their lungs. You will get used to it and also sleep through their funny noises they make while sleeping.

Yes, motherhood is scary. But it is also really wonderful and I have not regretted my choice despite the hardships. The radiant smile of your baby every time he or she looks at you makes you so full of love and happiness. The love and happiness takes on a different dimension that I have never thought possible.

It's definitely worth all the pain and trouble.


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  1. Eww!

    I guess if you want to get "intimate" with coffee tea or me, he'll mutter he got a headache?


    Is it just me or what? I love to admire a cleavage or two ;)

    But the moment some lady whips hers out to breast feed, I'll look away in embarrassment!?

    Weird huh?

    1. Hi Jared,

      I think at that time, being a crazy, dirty and messy woman, just by looking at me is flattering enough already. LOL.

      Well, you like to play hard to get =P I believe most people will stop and stare. But I really cannot be like them, I still prefer to cover up haha! Even with a feeding cover, some uncles already staring non stop at what I was doing lor... I shudder to think how they will react with an open boob! :)

  2. When we were kids staying in Kampongs, latating mothers while playing SEE SEK were all natural.

    What modesty or what ethics?

    Try to tell it to the Orang Asli or Negritoes.

    1. Omg Uncle Temperament,

      I had to google on See Sek, generation gap! Hahaha. But we are a civilized society so I suppose need some amount of modesty? I assume you are all for breastfeeding openly in public then. Maybe I am too conservative or shy la, forgive me :)

  3. That's not i mean.

    i mean each generation/society has it's own "normal and natural" practice.

    i agree our time now is different.

    No more SEE SEK party's time.

  4. And i like your writing about what the female species bonding with their babies.

    How else do species survive?

    1. Hi Uncle Temperament,

      Yeah, I get what you mean. Last time kids are free to roam about, kampong style. Now kids are like kings and queens being waited on. Haha, if I am not a mum I will definitely not be able to understand how a mum feels. It's really like a different phase of life, even my priorities and thinking changed.

      Some animals' mother die straight away after giving birth, they still can survive. Ok, damn morbid topic, hahaha!


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