Are you holding on because you are afraid of change?

Jes 14 Comments

My good friend is holding on to her boyfriend because she find comfort in his companionship. Everything is smooth sailing and she likes the state of being attached and feeling wanted. She knows and I know that she is not going to marry him in the long run. She knows she doesn't feel that way towards him.
(Source: wikipedia)
Yet, she continues holding on to the hope that her feelings might deepened in time to come. She believes that she might change and think differently next time as they just need to wait for cupid to strike. In her own words, she don't love him now but she might grow to love him.
Honestly, it might be possible during the first few years of the relationship but not after so long.

Similarly, I have a few unworthy stocks that I have still hold on despite them performing poorer than expected. To hold on means the loss is still a book keeping loss and not an actual loss of money. I hold on because this might be a caterpillar that will grow into a butterfly but I might be mistaken, it could be an earthworm that will continue to burrow its way down the ground.
Beautiful metamorphosis (Source: wikipedia)
Nobody likes to change or even plan for change as humans are after all, creatures of habits. I have not sold any non profitable stocks before but I think it's time I change.

Let me just ponder this for a few more months =P

(Source: kevin jarrett at flickr)

Jes

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14 comments:

  1. Jes,

    I think men can be a bit more "ruthless" here. No qualms with "live-in-sin" and stringing along a partner for 10-20 years, and just break-off their relationships seemingly without warning.

    It's not so bad if it wasn't the fact that now the man is marrying a young twenty something half his age...

    Perhaps that's why Beyonce sings, "If you like it put a ring on it!"


    Change is nice if I am the one initiating it ;)

    Sucks big time if I am the one surprised by change :(

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    1. Hi SMOL,

      Fully agree with your line 'Change is nice if I am the one initiating it'. It sucks to be caught off guard and more so when you thought things are going smoothly.

      It's true that men can string along a partner and then find a younger girlfriend after which but, the men has also wasted his youth and time. Which young-twenty-something-girlfriend is not after his money but purely for true love??!! Rare cases yes but I am cynical about it.

      I still think that both shouldn't waste time and break things off earlier to give each other a chance to find the right one. After all, life is too short and #YOLO~! =)

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  2. Replies
    1. Hi CW8888,

      Nice!!! Like your puns, man! For both meaning of course. I like 'Be the Change' better, hehehe.

      Delete
  3. Sometimes if there isn't anything better along, you might realize that you're okay with what you have. Some people hold themselves up to high standards, but I'm not even sure why they have such standards anyway.

    I used to think that something has to be meaningful now and always to have a place in my life. Now I am starting to warm up to the idea that even something that isn't meant to be in the future can still be enjoyed today.

    :)

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    Replies
    1. Hi GMGH,

      I guess that means we are settling because we can't find anything better. And that's perfectly all right if one is happy! Reminds me of a show HIMYM that mentioned that in a relationship, one person is the Reacher (reaching and aiming high to get your ideal mate) while the other is the Settler. There will definitely be someone settling down when someone is good enough, doesn't have to be ideal, I guess.

      Your 'something that isn't meant to be in the future can still be enjoyed today' sounds like a one-night-stand =D Just kidding and thanks for reading!

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  4. Reminds me of platonic relationship. Someone of opposite gender whom both find comfort in each other and yet non sexuality relationship. Rare but certainly a beautiful relationship or friendship.

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    Replies
    1. Hi Money Honey,

      To be honest, I do have one such good buddy and we have zero attraction towards each other yet we share common interests. I think this is not the same as my friend's situation as they are in a relationship and the guy definitely likes her and wants to be more than friends.

      Appreciate your insights!

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  5. Replies
    1. Hi Lizardo,

      Totally man! Seems like in this world, someone has to agree to be short changed in order to stay together... haha. Making it worse now =P

      Delete
  6. Hi Jes,

    I'm torn between two advice - "If you don't have what you love, love what you have" and "Let the bridges you burn light your way ahead". Not all change is for the better, and not all stagnation leads to death. The short answer is, it all depends.

    Wisdom will allow us to see which advice is right under which circumstances. How to get wisdom? We must have experience. How to have experience? We must make mistakes. How to make mistakes? Don't be right all the time :) And so to be right, we have to learn not to be right.

    Haha, I've said a lot but said nothing at the same time. Maybe I say it best when I say nothing at all.

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    1. LP,
      You reminded me of Notting Hill movie soundtrack When You Say Nothing At All

      in the song there is a chorus "You say it best when you say nothing at all"

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    2. Hi LP,

      Yeah man, that's like coming a full cycle back to the same place and the same question. My short answer is, live with no regrets and just be happy with what you have decided. Ultimately, the path forward is made up of our choices.

      Thanks for the funny comment hehe.

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    3. Hi Money Honey,

      That's a Ronan Keating song.. a real nice classic! :)

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