Stay weird, stay different

Jes 21 Comments

"When I was 16 years old,I tried to kill myself because I felt weird and I felt different and I felt like I did not belong. And now I'm standing here and so I would like for this moment to be for that kid out there who feels like she's weird or she's different or she doesn't fit in anywhere. Yes, you do. I promise you do. You do. Stay weird, stay different. And then when it's your turn and you're standing on this stage, please pass the same message to the next person who comes along."
Oscar award winner (Source: Disneyabc at flickr)
As spoken by Graham Moore on his Oscar's acceptance speech and hailed as the best in the ceremony.

All of us will feel weird and isolated at a certain point in life. Not many will be strong enough to remain unique and not be pressured into a mold shaped by people's expectations and societal norm.
Never finding anywhere where you belong... (Source: linkedin.com)
You can't be an engineer, you are a girl!
You can't be a ballerina, you are a boy!
You can't get your piercings , you are a teacher!
You can't take a sabbatical leave, you have a family!.
You can't be homosexual or single, it's not natural!
You can't date someone of a different race, it's not meant to be!

In my case, it's more like this:

Don't play soccer, it's too wild for girls!
Don't study engineering, it's more for men!
Don't do sales, a teacher is more suitable!
Don't travel so much, it's dangerous for women!

F*** the naysayers. Ok, that's pretty drastic. But sometimes we need to experience life on our own terms. I don't mean to experience it by taking drugs, smoking, drinking your lungs out and committing crimes. I mean that we should lead a straight yet different path from others and then decide for ourselves if we like it or not. What others don't like or like doesn't guarantee that you will feel the same way too. Don't feel intimidated by the strength in numbers of the majority, everyone is weird in their own ways. I am just lucky those naysayers are not my parents, so it's easier to shove them away.

Why should we care what other people think just as long as we have a clear conscience and remain happy? Likewise, why should we throw away our happiness to please others?


Life is just too short for you to keep thinking of What Ifs and to live life according to others. Do what you wanna do and try those things that you have been dreaming about. Because all those experiences will shape your character and finally let you decide who you wanna be.

Be yourself, be who you wanna be.

Jes

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21 comments:

  1. Bravo. Well said. Though not many will dare to do so. Sadly, society is built on conformity. The weird & the different are deemed misfits, outcasts and rebels.

    Little do we realize that progress is built by people who dared to be different. Think LKY, Steve Jobs and Elon Musk.

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    1. Hi SRSI,

      Happy new year! Yeah, we should be pressured to respect differences but I can undersand that people will want to conform to stay relevant and popular and able to make friends easily. But if everyone is the same, isn't it very boring?!

      Those legends are formed as they act and think differently but maybe those naysayers actually help to toughen up the average to become the outstanding. I have not done anything that is truly different from the average too but I hope I will one day. You too, huh?

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  2. Jes : Very well said. The one that care most about our life is ourselves, so keep going, keep smiling. Do what you like and like what you do ;-)

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    1. Hi Richard,

      Thanks for dropping by. I hope to keep doing what I like but don't appear too self centered. Still a long journey to go and really appreciate your pointers. Seems like you are really happy doing what you are doing now!

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    2. Hi Jes :

      When we are getting more "experience" with life (read : getting older), We will treasure what we have more ;-)

      Looking forward to ur next "weird" posts

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    3. Hi Richard,

      You are wiser so it's great that you are sharing your thoughts and knowledge with us. Thanks for the support! =D

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  3. Hi jesme,

    Haha, I totally understand how you free! Not too long ago, my mum is still asking me why don't I find a proper job even though I've been a tutor for nearly 10 yrs! There's a lot of social pressures doing what I like to do - busy when others are free, no cpf, no career advancement, no titles, no leave, no bonus, no colleagues etc etc. Screw it lah.

    But don't ever be different just for the sake of being different. That is equally as bad as blindly following others. Walk a new path only because you want it, not ever because of others.

    Oh, you should try smoking cigar. A puff won't make you an addict but it's an experience ;)

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    1. Hi LP,

      Jes will do =) Oh, it's hard enough to be different. To be different for the sake of it is not going to be permanent if we don't feel strongly about it but good reminder!

      People can be pretty judgemental when they do not know the whole story.Actually if you show them the amount of money you make and your current portfolio, they will quieten down instantly but you don't have to prove anything to others anyway!

      Ok.. very interesting that you would ask me to try smoking. Never wanted to try cos it's too smelly for me but I will seriously consider if the opportunity comes along. You are a bad influence, muahaha!

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    2. Hi jes,

      Haha, don't be judgemental! I didn't say normal cigarettes, it's cigar :) you twirl the smoke in your mouth and exhale it without sucking it in. If you don't throw it, you wouldn't know if you like it or not :)

      I'm not a bad influence, I'm here to open your mind! Lol!

      I'm past proving others wrong. Let them think what they like haha

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    3. Hi LP,

      Private tutor Mr. Anthony Fok is in the papers today. Show your mom that and tell her that you are next. ;)

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    4. Hi LP,

      On the contrary, I am trying not to be judgemental! Haha. I didn't mention cigarettes but it is the same to me as cigar. I kind of hate the smoke, did not even try shisha.

      As you mentioned, I don't want to be different just to be different, similarly I don't want to try things just for the sake of following the crowd =P But if someone were to offer me a puff I guess I will just try and judge for myself.. definitely keeping an open mind!

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  4. an interesting and debatable post :)
    IMO, we are now living in a world of conformity and many of us have surrendered our souls to the media and others who have no vested interest in our well-being.
    The price to pay not to conform is simply too great and one needs a heavy dosage of healthy self concept, positive self esteem to be the square peg in the round hole.

    The one thing I have followed from day one was to do sales and have never regretted a single day. Read that many CEOs started from the grounds up and that is how they honed their skills, could not agree more on that.........

    I believe we all have innate potential within us and many of us are not fully utilising this power , allowing it to sleep for years............and choosing to conform to the majority.........

    Go where the path is least travelled and leave a trail......

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    1. Hi Desmond,

      Nice perspective that you have! I agree with you that social media plays a part in making it harder not to conform because the pictures and criticisms are exposed to the world to judge. However, I do believe that it is a double edged sword, we can similarly use social media to shape people's mindset and turn something ugly into something lovely and beautiful. We can even use it to find similarly weird people =)

      Glad that you are also doing sales like me. I think doing sales is great to build up confidence and learn the art of communicating but it's really not for all so everyone would have to find their true calling. You are quite a motivational speaker so I am sure you will be able to carve out a niche for yourself.

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  5. Hi Jes,

    Power to you girl!

    A lady with background in engineering, do sales, and travel on business, now that's cannon fodder for guys with fragile egos and girls with mean in their hearts.

    Quck! Flap your wings.

    Fly Jes fly!

    :)

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    1. Hi SMOL,

      As usual, a few words from you is able to make me smile. Hope you read the whole thing this time =P I will be able to fly with you loading me up the cannon, hehe. Quck is kind of a funny sound for flapping... oops.

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  6. Hi Jes,

    Totally agree. Why should one conform to the society and who says that the majority is always right? Someone has commented that I have reached almost Zen like state - just one level below achieving monkhood lol.

    I see that you play football. Are you a supporter of any team?

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    1. Hi Derek,

      Zen like is cool which means you are unaffected by noises but be careful not to be so unaffected that you don't feel great joy, pain and other colourful emotions of life. I hope you won't become a monk though!

      I used to support Cristiano Ronaldo so much when he was in Man U and watched all his matches during schooling days (See all his posts under Soccer label). Nowadays, not so much of soccer, more of basketball =) Sounds like you do support a team?

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    2. Hi Jes,

      Haha no worries, I enjoy life too much to want to be a monk.

      Yep. I'm a Man Utd supporter. I used to play basketball in my early teens but I was a shortie and after being slapped at several times, I turned to soccer. On the field, size and height is no longer an issue. My motto then was the bigger you are, the harder you fall. LOL

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    3. Hi Derek,

      Admit it, girls are just too irresistible for you to be a monk =P Can't live with them, can't live without them.

      The shortest ones in the basketball team are normally the most agile and able to jump the highest, but of course height gives you the advantage in bball. For soccer you need to find more kakis so harder to play regularly but if you got a regular team, good for you! Stay fit to attract girls hehehe.

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  7. Jes,

    Hee hee.

    Here's the "i" I found in my pocket ;)

    I think you would have discovered by now I'm not a guy who cross my "t"s and dot my "i"s.

    No proof-reading, no reading every single word - I go by feeling.

    Come to think of it, very gu niang!?

    If you don't grab my attention in the first minute, you can pretty much talk to the hand ;)

    LOL!

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    1. Hi SMOL,

      It's not gu niang... it's just you and I can't help but keep poking you about it. That is why your post is always short and sweet and concise too.. it's just you!

      I am deeply honoured that I grab enough of your attention for you to leave a comment about it.... oh yes!

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